Contributors:

Dr. Banana

Blue Canary

Jonathan Chaffer

David Emprimo

Jeremy Lewis

Stephanie Murray

NyQuil66@aol.com

Paul Rankin

Kevin Shiner

There are several possible meanings to this song, but some of the symbols are indisputable. First, there is the reincarnation hinted at in the first verse, when the singer "comes back" as a bag of groceries. Then there's the chorus, which is a clear reference to beheading, possibly in the French Revolution. The second part of the chorus equates being dead with being alive but without any ambition. The second verse exhibits a simple sentiment of regret for what the singer has not done in his life. The only unclear section is the bridge, which is the only part directed to someone else. Who that listener is is left to speculation.

There are a few possibilities for the motivation of the song. One is that a person, now in the form of a bag of groceries, is writing about the awful past life he led. He didn't get anything accomplished in his life, and his life ended with people hunting him down and killing him. Another possibility is that the reincarnation part is an aside, and that a person is singing this song near the end of his life, which was unfulfilling to him. In this reading, the beheading section becomes the singer's speculation as to what others must think of him. He says he might as well be dead, since there is nothing he wants to do. A slightly different take on this theory is that the singer has had a love affair that ended prematurely (this theory has the advantage of explaining the bridge of the song). One can subscribe to the beheading theory without taking the reincarnation part literally, too. Taking the groceries off the shelf before the expiration date could symbolize being killed before one's time, and putting it back on the shelf could be a public display of the victims.

The illustrious Dr. Banana has the following... um... compelling? interp for us:

And now, by request, presenting:

What "Dead" really means.

Another fresh, new analysis by Dr. Banana of the Gullible Research Institute.

Well, Michael the Morbid Martyr, you sure gave us a tough one. If you take the song and look at the obvious meaning, you get someone looking back on their life with regret. However, we really, really, REALLY dug and we found a much richer meaning in addition to the obvious....

I returned a bag of groceries
Accidently taken off the shelf
Before the expiration date

Ahhh, now here is a political statement if we ever saw one. (And we aren't really sure if we have seen one or not) It seems that TMBG are speaking out against the grocery stores of America. Many local supermarkets nation-wide are notorious for being very lax in getting merchandise that is past the expiration date off of the shelves. You take it home and try to have a nice glass of milk with your Nestle Toll House cookies, only to find that instead of a rich, frothing glass of milk, you have a glass full of flourescent green lumps because it had expired sometime shortly after the original version of Istanbul came out. They use irony to show that they bought some groceries and alas, they were not past the expiration like normal, so they took them back!

I came back as a bag of groceries
Accidently taken off the shelf
Before the date stamped on myself

Here is a reference to the Hindu belief of reincarnation. The Hindu religion believes that if you lead a good life you will be reincarnated as a higher form. If you lead a bad life, you will be reincarnated as something rather nasty. What can be more nasty than a bag of groceries? Let's see: you would have your eggs smashed by cans of Chunky Beef Stew that the bag-boys would throw in on top. Your ice cream would melt because they didn't put it in one of those little freezer bags and you would end up with the lady-in-front-of-you's bag of Depends Undergarments. Now what would you do with those? Then you are taken home where the family cat will crawl in you and most probably cack up a furball all over your groceries. Then, it will be discovered that all the stuff was taken off the shelf before the expiration date, so whoever bought it and took you away from the store will make a political statement and take it all back. Now you get to go through it all again. As far as we know, the Johns are not Hindus.

Did a large procession wave their (Did a)
Torches as my head fell in the basket, (large pro-)

This particular line was a bit troublesome. At first we thought it was refering to the oringinal version of the Frankenstein movie. Angry villagers were the large procession waving torches. But none of us could remember the monster losing his head, unless someone unbolted it and we missed it.... But that failed to stick to the grocery motif, so we rethought it. Finally our research staff came up with a little-known, but shocking story. It seems that when supermarkets were first trying out the current laser scanners there was an incident in the South West where an irrate Postal employee (we are unsure of the connection to groceries here) replaced the safe class II lasers used for the scanners with deadly class IV lasers. Marv Surman was the first through the line after the supermarket opened with the new scanners. As the clerk moved Marv's box of Ho-Ho's over the scanner, the laser switched on, burnt the box of Ho-Ho's in half and sliced right through poor Marv's neck! Blood and cream-filling spewed everywhere and PLOP, his head fell in a grocery basket and the whole story ended up in the National Inquirer. The "torches" probably refer to all of the towns people flicking their bics at the funeral. (You do understand what we mean. Like when all the fans at a concert turn on their lighters and sway about during the 'ballad' song) As for dancing on the casket... we think TMBG were making a reference to the movie FAME (where everyone danced everywhere) and was possibly one of their favorites.

Now it's over I'm dead and I haven't done anything that I want (now it's over)
Or, I'm still alive and there's nothing I want to do

Here They stick with Merv after death. It seems that Merv was a bit confused about whether he was dead or not. If he IS dead, then he has unfinished business like most ghosts do (he didn't get to finish his shopping) OR if he is still alive then he is going to sit around like a slug, like most of us do, and do nothing.

I will never say the word
"Procrastinate" again; I'll never
See myself in the mirror with my eyes closed
I didn't apologize for
When I was eight and I made my younger brother
Have to be my personal slave

(So) So I won't
(Sit) sit at home
(And) anymore
(And) and you won't
(And) see my head in
(And) the window
(And) and I won't
(And) be around
(And) ever anymore
(And) and I'll be up there on the wall at the store

This deals with Marv eventually discovering that he is indeed dead. You'll notice that some statements make more sense if he was alive and others for when he is dead. An 'alive' statement is the 'procrastinate' one. He thinks he's still alive and vows never to put off anything again (like going to the grocery store. If he had went sooner there would have been no laser scanners). A 'dead' statement is the one about his brother. Looking back on his life he is full of regret over bossing his little brother around and forcing him to read every issue of Archie & Jughead, Richie Rich, and Barbie comics as a form of torture. Another 'dead' statement is the window one, which refers to a brief period of time where Merv haunted the supermarket. Every night, when the lights were turned down and the stock-boys were hard at work, people would swear that they could see Marv's disembodied head floating in the front window... and he had a hook for a hand and one night when two teenagers where necking out in the parking lot, they heard a scratching at the car door. They were frightened and sped away and when they got home they found a hook... errrmm, sorry, wrong story. Actually it was just a disembodied head, but Marv finally realized he was dead and was reincarnated as a bag of groceries as punishment for the cruel treatment of his brother. Later the supermarket immortalized Marv in a little shrine near the restrooms. Thus the "up on the wall at the store" refers to his picture above the altar.

So, there you have it. Watch your local TV listings, because NBC plans to make this into a mini-series. Once again, if you have any songs that you really need to know the meaning of, send your request in the form of a dirty limerick (or not) to:

DR. BANANA c/o THE GULLIBLE RESEARCH INSTITUTE (sdc116@psu.edu)